Even if the individual with AS accepts and understands their diagnosis, the truth is that your brains are wired differently. Focusing on what is referred to as the Cassandra phenomenon, where the neurotypical partner often needs more emotional guidance . What Is Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS)? - Psych Central Cassandra Syndrome: Recovery for Neurotypical Partners in - YouTube On the other hand, people with Aspergers tend to focus on only one activity at a time, and they focus on that activity intensely with little regard for anything else going on around them. There are many successful Aspie-Aspie marriages and Aspie-NT marriages. Other people, once they are aware that the person has Aspergers are often able to be more accepting and supportive. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with. Symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome may include: Craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods Decreased interest in sex and physical contact Desire to oversleep and difficulty staying awake Disturbed sleep and early morning wakening Domestic abuse (emotional and/or physical) Extremes of mood and short periods of hypomania (over activity) Fatigue If those characteristics are not present in the person then he or she doesnt have Aspergers and if they are present a diagnosis of Aspergers is much more viable. Both partners must make a serious commitment to making the marriage work. They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves. She has a remarkable memory, is able to converse in detail about a wide range of subjects, is outgoing and adventurous, and has a quirky but engaging sense of humor. The difference between these two conditions is that people with Social Anxiety Disorder lack self-confidence and expect rejection if and when they engage with others. Damage to ones self-esteem as a result of disapproval, ridicule, discrimination and rejection is possible when knowledge of an Aspergers diagnosis is disseminated. Clear evidence that these characteristics are not caused by low intelligence or broad, across-the-board delays in overall development. Your email address will not be published. They act immediately and have trouble waiting. Individuals with Aspergers are rarely deceitful, in fact, they are often considered excessively, even naively honest, quite unlike those with APD who are predictably deceitful and unremorseful, and unlike people with Aspergers they are incapable of feeling genuine love. At one point, they will have extreme energy, be unusually happy, energetic, talkative, feel wonderful about themselves and on top of the world, have little need for sleep, be drawn to unimportant or irrelevant activities, and generally act unlike themselves. In the workplace and in educational settings, a diagnosis of Aspergers can provide access to helpful resources and support that might otherwise not have been available. And to attempt to tell her story to her . Because Aspergers is a condition that exists at or before birth, clues about the presence of Aspergers are found in the history of the persons childhood. They may refuse to communicate, but then end up lashing out in a very hurtful way later on. Once both spouses accept this fact, a major barrier to change disappears. It is pointless to blame the other person. Romantic Relationships for Young Adults With Asperger's Syndrome and Can they have intimate relationships & be successful parents? To diagnosis and adult with Aspergers requires that the person have: What happens if someone has some of these difficulties but not all? The Asperger Couple's Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Genetic studies suggest the two disorders share genetic risk factors, and studies of the incidence and distribution of both conditions confirm that many people with Aspergers have symptoms of ADHD and vice versa. One is the intense aloneness at having ones experiences either disbelieved or outright denied. The Asperger couple's workbook: Practical advice and activities for couples and counsellors. Jackson, L. (2002). I find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be someone else. But in practice it is complicated and necessities a professional who understands thoroughly not just the characteristics of Aspergers but how they are played out in real life. Therefore, the Aspergers partner may see the NT partner as irrational or illogical. They are the type of person that is others think of as the typical loner.. Dr. Kenneth Roberson is an Autism Spectrum Disorder psychologist in San Francisco with over 30 years of experience. Nevertheless, attitudes like this can arise when a diagnosis of Aspergers is made public. That is not an insurmountable problem. The reason is simple. Cassandra Syndrome is what a woman experiences after years of being married to a man with Asperger's. Cassandra Syndrome is also referred to as Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome or Affective . It is often the case that a person seeking an evaluation does not have any documentation, formal or informal, that is relevant to the assessment process. They can consider what other people are thinking much easier than adults with Aspergers and they participate in the give-and-take of social interactions more readily. Like any other romantic couple, two adults who are in love in an Asperger's relationship are on cloud nine when they first meet. Cassandra and the Aspie: Marriage and Asperger's Syndrome The third and final meeting is a time to clarify questions that were not completely answered in the previous meetings, gather additional information and raise additional questions that have emerged from the information collected so far. Perhaps you are a spouse wondering if your partner has Aspergers, a friend, acquaintance or colleague of someone you suspect has it, or perhaps you wonder if you might have it yourself. This book specifically addresses the touchy issues of sex, rage, divorce and shame and gives a glimpse of the "inner workings" of these relationships. This group is dedicated to supporting women who are (or have been) with partners who either have Asperger's Syndrome or who you strongly believe have Asperger's Syndrome, and who feel they themselves. If, for example, the core characteristics of Aspergers lead a person to speak in few sentences, interact with people only around very narrow, special interests and communicate in odd, nonverbal ways, we can say that these are indicators that a diagnosis of Aspergers is correct. Often, people tell me when we meet to discuss an Aspergers evaluation that the symptoms of Aspergers they have seen, usually online, match what they notice in themselves. However, the individual with NT is going to have to understand that it will feel to them that they are the party making more accomodations. We share our family and relational experiences, resources and survival tips as well as offer encouragement and hope. Is it different in adults than it is in children? It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. Lifestyle. Do you have questions youd like to ask an expert in adult Aspergers? Little or too much detail is included in conversation, and there is difficulty in recognizing when the listener is interested or bored. I'm really struggling with my marriage at the moment (if you look at my other posts you'll realise why). They have little interest in their usual activities, have little appetite, sleep more than usual, are slowed down, have difficulty concentrating and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. "Someone with Asperger's syndrome may actually perceive expressions of affection as aversive experiences, and a hug as an uncomfortable squeeze that restricts movement, and they can become. They are the type of person that is others think of as the typical loner.. Like any other romantic couple, two adults who are in love in an Asperger's relationship are on cloud nine when they first meet. I miss my best friends or family when we are apart for a long time. While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture. In the post separation period with Asperger's Syndrome the neuro-typical ex-partner is often seen to continue to accommodate the AS partner for years. Asperger's syndrome (sometimes called high-functioning autism) is part of a wide diagnosis called autism spectrum disorder (ASD). And the AS person will have a hard time understanding his/her impact on the NT individual. It is hard to make a neurotypical-Aspergian (NT-AS) relationship work. In this chapter, I will explain how the process of diagnosing someone for Aspergers is usually carried out, both in general terms and the specific way I undertake a diagnosis. Asperger's and divorce, Cassandra Syndrome - The Neurotypical They have a very restricted range of emotions, especially when communicating with others and appear to lack a desire for intimacy. It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Here is a description of the psychiatric conditions most frequently associated with Aspergers: People with ADHD typically have difficulty paying attention to whats going on around them, they are easily distracted, they tend to do things without thinking about the results, they are often forgetful, have trouble finishing what they intended to do, are disorganized, jump from one activity to another, are restless and have poor social skills. Reality sinks in once the emotional high wears off, and if there. Signs of abuse that may lead to symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome include: 1. Indications that these characteristics are causing significant problems in relationships, work or other important areas of the persons life. Others repeat behaviors or say names or phrases over and over hoping to guard against some unknown harm.
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